While trolling around Myspace and Facebook, I’ve come upon a few people trying to quit smoking. This is one thing, maybe the only thing in my life that I have had complete success in accomplishing.
Ten years and 23 days ago, I walked into my doctor’s office and was given a prescription for Zyban. I don’t think there was a generic version of this drug available then, so I paid full retail price of about $100 for a one month supply. Ten years ago, $100 for 60 pills was a lot of money. Cigarettes cost between $25 and $30 per carton. I was smoking 3 or more packs a day so I was paying somewhere around $60 to $70 per WEEK on cigarettes. The price of Zyban was a bargain compared to what I was paying for cigarettes.
I went straight to the drug store and got my pills and a bottle of juice. I ripped open both and took my first pill in the car before I even read the directions. When I got to work and read the pamphlet that came with the Zyban and saw the part where I was supposed to choose a quit date for two weeks from then, I knew that wouldn’t work. That would have been Christmas Eve. I was being asked to quit an addiction during Christmas when I had a 13 year old, an 11 year old and a 9 year old home from school during the time I was supposed to quit smoking. I decided to take the pills anyway and see what happened after the New Year.
I didn’t have an ounce of faith that I could quit smoking
I said every day that I liked to smoke.
I didn’t really want to quit.
Zyban caused me to have the strangest dreams ever.
Zyban made my mouth so dry I was certain there was a 2 x 4 banging around in my mouth while I slept at night.
I realized I was smoking fewer cigarettes after two weeks of taking the medication.
I realized after taking the medication for three weeks, I could stop at the gas station and buy a pack of cigarettes that would last 3 days.
I realized that going from 3 packs a day to one pack every three days was pretty amazing and to give up would be the stupidest thing I’d ever done in my life.
I realized I can put up with anything for one month; including strange dreams and severe dry mouth.
I realized I hated the smell of cigarettes.
On January 7, 2000 I smoked my last cigarette. Stopping smoking was the easy part now,
What am I supposed to do when I’m stressed? Bored?
What am I supposed to do when I drink my coffee in the morning?
What am I supposed to do after I eat a meal?
What am I supposed to do while I’m driving?
What am I supposed to do while I’m drinking?
I realized that was a bunch of lame reasons to justify smoking a cigarette.
People who are sucking on a cigarette look really stupid.
People who are sucking on a cigarette smell horrible and cause the surrounding atmosphere to be unbearable for people who are not stupid enough to suck on cigarettes.
I’m embarrassed that I was one of those people.
What I know for sure is my health and life is better because I don’t smoke.
One more thing I do know for sure. Up until my children were 13, 11 and 9 years old, they witnessed me smoking cigarettes in their home, in the rooms they were playing, in the car they were riding. Ten years later, two of my children smoke cigarettes. I was the first person to bring that filthy habit into their lives. I was the first person that taught them how to smoke. I was the first person to pollute their lungs. I want to weep every time I think of what I’ve done. I will never forgive myself for being so selfish.
No comments:
Post a Comment